Does your child with non-verbal autism hate going to school? When children feel safe, they can thrive. By creating secure environments, together we can unlock the barriers holding back their growth, helping them explore, connect, and grow with confidence. Let’s work together to support your child’s journey and unlock their full potential!
You are in the right place to learn more about fostering safety and growth.
Why feeling safe matters
A secure attachment is built on a foundation of feeling safe—mentally, emotionally, and physically. For children with non-verbal autism, communication barriers can make it harder for them to feel understood, leading to difficulties in forming secure relationships. By focusing on different types of safety, we can foster stronger connections and provide them with the stability they need to thrive.
If you’re looking to improve your connection and create a more secure attachment, this other post might also offer valuable insights.
Connecting takes time, understanding(being open) and patience.
Mental safety
Establishing clear, known but flexible boundaries
Children feel safest when they understand what is expected of them. Boundaries and rules should be:
Clear and consistent
Matched to their level of understanding and self-control (of their actions and reactions)
Flexible in special circumstances
If rules need to be temporarily adjusted, re-establishing a sense of safety may take time and patience.
Some children may have fluctuating levels of understanding or self-control, depending on the day, difficult times, or growth focus. Adjusting to these changes might create temporary uncertainty, so having multiple layers of safety is key.
Trust in Communication
Children rely heavily on non-verbal cues. If your words say one thing but your body language suggests another, they may become confused and unsure of what to trust. Over time, this can lead to:
A loss of confidence in their ability to understand body language
A breakdown in trust between you and the child
Since body language is often their primary way of interpreting emotions, any inconsistencies in communication can throw them off balance. Balancing honesty with reassurance is key to maintaining trust.
Personal Example:
While supporting a child in nursery, I was preoccupied with personal worries. Although I acted as I usually did, he sensed something was different and became unsettled. At lunchtime, I reflected and realized my emotional state might have been affecting him.
I took time to calm myself, ate some “happy food” (strawberries, for me), and refocused on the present. That afternoon, he was noticeably more at ease—it was as if I was working with a different child.
The change wasn’t in him; it was in me. My emotional state likely gave fewer mixed signals, increasing his trust in my body communication.
Emotional safety
Being present without pressure
A child feeling emotionally safe doesn’t require constant interaction—just knowing you are there is often enough. Over time, when they trust in you being there if need be, they will:
Feel more secure in exploring and self-regulating
Manage small disappointments (e.g., losing a toy) without immediate intervention
Show signs of independence in handling emotions
These small but significant moments of progress deserve recognition, as they are important milestones toward greater emotional resilience and independence.
Environmental Comfort
While this is not really a safety issue, it plays a role in a child’s ability to focus and feel at ease. Children with sensory sensitivities may struggle with:
Fluorescent lights (which can flicker, hum, and be overstimulating)
High-pitched noises (from computers, lamps, freezers, or even other children)
Strong-tasting or burning toothpaste (especially peppermint flavors)
Uncomfortable textures (in playdough, certain foods, jelly, or clothing labels)
Overpowering smells (from perfumes, cleaning products, or certain foods like cheese and lemon)
- This are just a few, there are more.
These sensitivities vary from child to child but are common in neurodivergent individuals. Being aware of these triggers is important as it can hinder them to focus, trigger or overstimulate their nervous systems in the moment or over time.
Responses to feeling unsafe
When children feel unsafe—physically, mentally, or emotionally—they may enter a survival response:
Fight (aggression, resistance)
Flight (avoidance, running away)
Freeze (shutting down, hiding, withdrawing)
Fawn (people-pleasing to avoid conflict, often followed by emotional outbursts when they feel safe again)
or a mix
If these responses happen too frequently or intensely, their nervous system may become more sensitive, making it harder for them to self-regulate. In extreme cases, they may enter a protective state of numbness, regression, resembling depression. To recover, they need time and a consistent sense of safety in all aspects of their lives.
This sensitivity is often linked to environmental comfort.
More details on this topic can be found in another post:
Calm or safe nervous system
Conclusion
Creating a sense of safety—mentally, emotionally, and physically—is not just about protection; it is about fostering growth. When children feel safe, they have the confidence to explore, build relationships, and develop self-regulation skills. Progress may be gradual, but each step forward is a building block toward independence and well-being.
By committing to providing consistent safety and understanding, we empower children to trust, connect, and flourish. Growth happens in environments where children feel secure—Contact. Check out my Services options and the supporting growth package. Just Contact to start a conversation about what could help you and your child.
Would you like to learn more? Explore related topics and practical strategies in other posts!
There is also Environmental comfort
More about a Calm or safe nervous system you can find here.