Welcome at Connection Beyond Words. Some people if they read this will say that it is not really specific to children with autism. And I agree it isn’t. It is helpful for everyone, but at the same time especially for them as they could use some extra Contact to be able to bloom.
I see children with autism not as children with a disability, I see them as any human being, with just some translation needs (and regulation needs). Children that need to be seen and loved and respected. Children that need to be seen as worth as much as anyone else.
As they also have things to add to this world as does anyone, lessons to teach us, like anyone, dreams of their own, like anyone.
People sometimes see them as them and us. But they are just the same with some small differences. Good or bad? I don’t judge. I just see someone like me, but with some differences and I accept them as they are.
For everyone, I try to see their individual personal strengths and I love making a start to building together with them their future, starting form their strengths.
This again is something that for everyone could be helpful. 🙂
What do children(who are non-verbal and have autism) need?
In this article, I would like to talk about specific needs of children that are non-verbal with autism. They more then other children have these needs to be able to keep growing and to unfold themselves fully. While all children thrive in a nurturing environment, these children need a bit more awareness and support.
They need to feel secure, loved, understood or at least accepted.
It’s not enough to just show them-if they cannot feel or see it.
How do they pick up on these things? How do they know if they are safe, loved, understood or accepted? I hope to be able to give you some answers to these questions throughout this article. As every child is different, I will talk more in general in these blogposts. To be able to offer help more specific I will have to meet, connect with the child first.
Would you like some more specific help with your child. To improve their growth. Or would you like some help or support for yourself or your partner with your child? Let’s meet up for a coffee and have a chat about what can be helpful for you. Contact.
Safety, feeling secure
Safety is needed to grow.
Small things can upset them and make them doubt their safety with a person.
- Physical safety.
Fitting the child’s level of understanding to manage their own safety, the environment (and/or closeness of parent or teacher) should make a safe space for the child.
Example:
A child can play safely with marbles without putting them in his or her mouth.
OR a grownup is watching closely to make sure the child’s safety and also to remind him/her to play safe. + Some play might be more likely to cause a scratch or bruise. Like climbing over tree trunks finding balance or running over rocks. It is important that the child can communicate if they want a hand or help to feel safe – also giving them space (while still supervising) if they are getting closer to being able and feeling safe to do things for themselves in order to find their own sense of what is safe and what is not safe*. Sometimes after a (near)fall or a scratch they need to take a step back to their safe space, they often will have the will(with or without encouragement)to try it again after a while. This can really grow their confidence in their ability and in their sense of safety around you and with themselves.
*Be aware they can sometimes hugely overestimate themselves during this time. A little overestimating is okay as that is how they find their own boundaries of feeling safe, a big overestimation can get them hurt or scared badly and can make them close off to you /to this kind of play. This can take them back to feeling unsafe with themselves or with you and you/they will probably have to build up this feeling of safety all over again.
Children get hurt sometimes, they fall, they run into things, they get scratches,…
Children with autism/and who are non-verbal often have a nervous system that is over- or heavily- loaded. This makes them feel pain more easily or can result in them being more bothered/upset by a simple scratch.
Showing acknowledgement towards simple scratches or barely seeable things they show you can make them feel understood by acknowledging their feelings and this helps them feel safe. (see the overloaded nervous system as a bucket that is overflowing constantly and a little drip(little ache) can really overflow things) It is better to not “baby” them about aches, however acknowledgement of how they feel (not only verbally!) is needed for their mental safety. It can help to move clothes out of the way of the little ache, so it doesn’t touch it while playing.
If a child falls and they feel safe with you (without you babying him/her), over time they are likely to have a light fall, look at you, see that you noticed, feel like I am okay, not panic and go on playing without needing intervention. To be able to do this a feeling of safety is needed but often also a more calmed nervous system is needed to accomplish this.
For more information this also check: Calm or safe nervous system Or contact me Contact if you want some more support for this.
Some safe, but still challenging/interesting great options for toys you can find here.